Ron Paul will buy The Dallas Cowboys football team, citing how George Bush used to own The Texas Rangers baseball team, also based in The Dallas, TX Area. "If you own a team that plays in that part of the state, it should increase your chances of being in The White House", said Jerry Jones, the current owner of The Cowboys.
Dr. Paul stated he will remove the tax burden of the new stadium from Arlington, TX residents, by arranging a deal with Chick-fil-A to subsidize The Stadium in exchange for renaming The Stadium 'The Chick-fil-A Chicken Salad Bowl', and changing all food and beverage items at The Stadium to Chick-fil-A items.
It will be the only place in the world that will serve Chick-fil-A food items on Sunday, since Sunday all Chick-fil-A places are closed. They will hang a giant cow from the ceiling of The Stadium painting a sign that says "Eat More Chicken", and cows will charge across the football field before the beginning of each game.
Paul denies any of his campaign money will be used in the purchase.