Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Monday, 12 November 2007

image for Californians fed up with rising gasoline prices throw "Boston Tea Party" by dumping oil into San Francisco Bay; authorities calling it theft gone awry
The Village People rock the San Francisco Bay with a modern Boston Tea Party

San Francisco, California - Apparently, fed up with the high price of gasoline, a group of desperate Californians boarded an oil tanker in the San Francisco Bay to protest the raising prices of gasoline and rolled a few barrels of oil overboard. Boarding the vessel disguised as the 1970s disco musical sensation, The Village People, they performed a single set of "In the Navy" before seizing the barrels.

Authorities do not have a clue as the identity of the assailants, though they are not ruling out members of the disco sextuplet.

"We're not officially calling them suspects," said a spokesman for the San Francisco Police Department (SFPD). "But they are people of interest."

"We thought they were some kind of greeting party," explained a crewmember.

Even though they were not apparently the real Village People, crewmembers reported that they thought the imposters were pretty good.

Although authorities, are not ruling out the incident was a possible eco-terrorist act as it cause damage to the San Francisco Bay's carefully balanced and venerable ecosystem, they are currently investigating the criminal act as a simple theft that went awry.

"It looks like were dealing with a simple theft," said a spokesperson for the SFPD. "But the barrels of oil must have ruptured releasing their toxic contains into the bay."

Authorities predict more such desperate acts of theft are to be expected as fuel prices continue to rise with no end in sight.

"It was no simple theft. It was obviously an act of civil disobedience," said a California driver who asked not to be identified. "We shouldn't have to take out an equity loan on our houses just to fill up at the local gas station to get back and forth to work. Or have to chose between raiding an IRA retirement account or the kids college fund, just to make ends meet."

"I believe it to be a legitimate political protest," said Jamie Callaway, Political Science Professor at the Cassandra Institute of Foresight.

Prof. Callaway claims there are just too many parallels to ignore between the Boston Tea Party when Colonial Americans protested the taxes imposed on them by King George by dressing as Native Americans and throwing heavily taxed tea into the Boston Harbor.

"Californians today have to pay both a fixed and variable imposed on them by both state and federal government for every gallon of gas the pump at the local gas station," said Prof. Callaway. "All the while, they under the rule of yet another guy named George that acts like he's their king."

The fact that today's protesters dressed up like the Village People instead of Native Americans, although one was in fact dressed up as a Native American, just shows they have great taste in disco music, said Prof. Callaway.

"Even if it was some kind of protest over the rising prices of gasoline," said a spokesperson for the SFPD. "It crossed the line from Constitutionality protected right to protest into criminal activity, and it will be dealt with severely in accordance with the law."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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