Dike Cheney announced today that he will pay the federal government almost $2 trillion dollars to keep Dennis Kucinich off of his back and pay off the Iraqi War debt. The conservative VP with the lesbian daughter, who recently voted for subsidies to go to American oil companies, said that he was tired of having the Kucinich "monkey on his back" and was looking forward to a peaceful retirement in his southern California home.
When asked where the money was coming from in the settlement, Cheney simply said, "stock options and dead generals." It was thought that Cheney was referring to general Ulysses S. Grant whose picture is on the $50.00 bill.
On Tuesday of this week, Dennis Kucinich nearly forced the full House to vote on his measure to impeach Cheney. House Resolution 333 accuses Cheney of deliberately manipulating intelligence, masturbating in public, shooting a hunting partner and deceiving the public to build support for the invasion of Iraq and now towards a possible attack on Iran.
Twenty-one House Democrats have supported the bill, but it's met fierce opposition from the Democratic leadership who are acting like a bunch of asses on the House floor.
Janitors cleaning the House say that it's turning into a stable of licentiousness and are refusing put in the extra time to pick up after the asses unless they can get overtime and hazardous duty pay.
So far the war in Iraq has left almost 4,000 US soldiers dead, not to mention the countless Iraqi civilians on the other side.
"We will spend between one and two trillion dollars for this war and go into further debt with China causing their eyes to get larger and our wallets to grow thinner," according to Kucinich whose nickname is "Dennis the Menace."
"This administration wants to take us into another war? Hee Haw!"