WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President George Bush told a well-attended White House news conference on Friday that "it is the patriotic duty of every American Child to learn Hebrew."
The press conference was held in the newly opened White House Synagogue that replaces the White House Christian Chapel.
Bush, in the robes of a Rabbi in accordance with his recent ordination into the Faith and his successful completion of a Rabbinical Web course, said "We Americans are the Chosen people. So let's bomb those Mohammedians and grab their oil for Israel and Goldman Sachs, our Zionist bankers."
To emphasize his grasp of the Hebrew language, Bush stated, "Aniyani Yoda'a Milima Achadottle," to general incomprehension by Jews and goyim alike.
Also at the ceremony, Dick Cheney, wearing a yarmulke, added that "There was big money to be made in US oil wars…just look at my Halliburton bank account!"
The controversial news conference/service then ended with songs and dancing by Madonna from her forthcoming album, "Like a Kabbalist."
Also present were Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Rudy Giuliani, Larry Craig, Mitt Romney and other notable Republicans and Democrats.
The news conference, synagogue and concert were sponsored by AIPAC.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire