WASHINGTON BM - Dennis Kucinich, Democrat Candidate for President and United States Congressman, in a press conference last week, revealed the role his striking good looks would play in the '08 campaign.
"I believe this will be the determining factor when the American People cast thier ballots next November." said Kucinich. "It's obvious I'm the most qualified candidate, appearance wise."
When pressed on issues, the Ohio Congressman explained, "I know I can't compete in the arena of ideas, but when you look as good as I do, issues just don't mean quite so much."
One of Kucinich's Democrat rivals, Senator Hillary Rodham-Clinton, seemed to agree. "Bill and I have admired Congressman Kucinich's devastating good looks for years, and we realize it is a huge advantage."
Asked if it would be wise to just go ahead and concede to Kucinich and his superior looks now, Mrs. Clinton ejaculated, "F**k no. We will not give that good looking motherf**ker anything without a fight to the death."
Informed by a staffer of Clinton's profanity-laced rant, Kucinich smiled wryly and said, "I look forward to her challenge, but am smart enough to realize when you step into the ring with Hillary Clinton, it's gonna be a 'dog' fight."