Written by Helena Handbasket
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Topics: Ron Paul, America

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

image for Campaign Replaces Statue of Liberty with Disrobing Ron Paul Girl
Paul's campaign turned to other models after discovering Liberty's skirts were bolted down during the Clinton administration.

05 Nov 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- At midnight Eastern Standard Time, Ron Paul's campaign unveiled its November fundraising widget, which replaces last month's graphic of Miss Liberty with new footage of Miss Liv, the "Ron Paul girl". Instead of a "rising thermometer" theme, the Liv graphics feature rising skirts. The Spoof's writers, after analyzing the new graphics carefully for eighteen hours, can report that Liv's skirt is nearly off her hips.

The campaign began the day with slightly over $30 billion raised over the past 35 days. With the top of Liv's head representing the yearend goal of $120 billion, this started her with a knee-length dress. As word spread across the Internet, the dress continued rising today at accelerating rates and is now at miniskirt status. The campaign expects to raise around $40 billion today, exceeding the prior record raised by President-Elect Hillary Rotten Clinton on Cleavage Exposure Day.

At press time the skirt was still in the process of disclosing Liv's trademarked extra-long legs, leading to speculation that her legs really do go all the way up. Revelation of whether the crucial nether regions sport Ron Paul undies-- or not-- is expected within hours.

Liv, whose last name is apparently "Films", said in a prepared statement, "DON'T @#!&* THIS UP, AMERICA!!!" She also referred donors to her website for more eye-opening exposés, which are available only to adults 17 or older who have registered as Republican or Independent voters as appropriate for their state election boards. Liv is also expected to replace the traditional Miss Liberty on next year's $1000 gold Peace Dollars, issued by Liberty Dollar.

Campaign manager Jesse Benton was wonderstruck by the model's success. Benton explained that the graphic tied together several of Paul's campaign themes: freedom of expression, an unregulated Internet, and the Strippers for Ron Paul movement. Benton added that exposing the "emperor's new clothes" has always been a central theme of Paul's message, and when the fundraiser is complete, he promises that Liv will display them in all their glory.

Initial analysis suggests the fundraising spike is driven primarily by increased donations from males in the 18-30 age group, which account for 90% of new donors.

When asked if the campaign had any plans to institute a similar replacement for the original Statue of Liberty, Benton added, "The Manhattan meetup has already built the scale model. In fact, we got our graphics from them."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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