Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 3 November 2007

image for Non-Dairy Cows To Go On Strike!
Midwest America, home to the worlds only Non-Dairy Cow herd

WisCONsin - Did you enjoy that Non-Dairy creamer in your coffee today? How about that Non-Dairy milk substitute for the lactose intolerant? Ever wonder where these products and many more Non-Dairy products come from? Well where else! They come from Non-Dairy Cows, the largest of which is located in the Wisconsin Dells, blending in amongst regular dairy herds.

"We have the largest herd in the world," says Adolf Butler, "We have about 1300 head at this time, producing over 600,000 cubic yards of powdered Non-Dairy Creamer, milk, and sweetened condensed milk substitute. However lately our prices have not been keeping pace with our expenses and we need to scare the bejesus out of some coffee drinkers and that's what this strike about, we feel under-appreciated."

Starbucks has responded to the threatened strike by appealing to the Butler's to remain calm. "This could be a disaster for the coffee connoisseurs and the stores that serve them. Not everyone likes real cream or whipped cream, we really depend on these Non-Dairy cows being productive."

Negotiations are said to be underway, but it is a tense time as bovines, their owners and coffee moguls scramble for firm footing in what looks to be a long strike, with neither side offering concessions.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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