Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 1 November 2007

image for Cheerleader Trampled by Football Team Becomes Top YouTube Video
These girls would rather get stomped than screwed

The high school cheerleader in Washington that was accidentally trampled by the football team is recovering with only mild bruises. Friday evening, during the Homecoming game, she moved to straighten the center of a large banner just as the football team came tearing through it. The cheerleader was soon indistinguishable from the turf of the football field.

The video has become the most watched on YouTube, passing the last sighting of some young starlet's nipples.

The trampled girl's name was withheld by the requests of her parents and the schoolboard. Fellow cheerleader Tammy Bright, however, offered the following:

"She's like, you know, like really lucky! Normally, after the game and stuff, you know, it's like really hard for us cheerleaders. If we win, the team has to go get guzzle beers and party and we all get fondled and screwed by a bunch of drunk jocks who always pass out before anyone gets off. If we lose, they gotta get blasted to forget what happened on the field and so we get gang raped by a bunch of angry jocks. The only time you're safe is if you've got you period or something."

"Kali had it so lucky, if you know what I mean, cuz ...oops, I'm not supposed to say her name....but she got lucky cuz she didn't have to go out to the levee with the rest of us after the game but got to, like, stay home and sit on her lazyboy and text the rest of us how much she hurt but how good the hot tub felt."

"We're now going to draw names to see which one of us gets to get stomped on next week so she don't gotta stay afterwards and get screwed."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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