Written by TheOneLaw
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Wednesday, 31 October 2007

After a late night in consultation with advisors to the Rudy Giuliani campaign, Duncan Hunter has announced he will withdraw from his bid for the office of President.

While it is not known what the discussions involved, Beltway pundits suggest the congressman was perceived as having the support base Rudy needs to get a more solidified pro-war voter base.

"I now terminate my candidacy for the 2008 Republican nomination. I have heard a call to higher duty and I now see what I can do to expand military economy in new and exciting ways" said the congressman from California's 52nd District in a brief news announcement to supporters from the fire-razed rubble of his home outside San Diego.

Hunter is best known for his success in expanding the Marine Corps and increasing the military budget by an order of magnitude despite forgoing $23000 refrigerators.

His wildly popular efforts to sell National Park lands to defense contractors is another issue he will be fondly remembered for.

His interference with the establishment of the National Intelligence directorate brought him clandestine support throughout the espionage community.

His support for restricting free speech to designated areas in public parks drew heavy praise from Neocons across America.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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