Written by King David
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Tuesday, 30 October 2007

image for Local SWAT team gives Mexican workers a scare
"Mexican email" was used by workers to contact family back home

As local SWAT teams from Cary practicing an exercise descended upon a 200 home development near Raleigh, it was anything except business as usual today for American luxury home builder, Dole Brothers and the men who work for the company, many of whom were Mexican.

Eyewitnesses say that it was 8:30 in the morning when SWAT teams arrived with men carrying AK-47 Semi-automatic assault rifles.

"As soon as the men jumped out of a van, Mexican workers scattered," said Dole Brothers Superintendent, Richard Onion. "Assholes and elbows were all I saw."

The workers, many of whom had just arrived for work, were apparently not told about the drill probably because the superintendent didn't pay attention in his high school Spanish class.

When asked if he was able to get his men back, the 230 llb. Onion said that it took all day to coax them out of the woods. Some of them he says he hasn't heard from anymore. "We pretty much had to write that day off," he said.

The SWAT team's leader, Captain Jock Rock said that they had contacted the luxury home builder because a real life emergency would more than likely put them in harms way defending rich people and that they wanted to practice using luxury homes before they had the windows put in.

Spokesman for the workers, Manny Moreno, in an effort to smooth things over with the builder, said that the Mexicans were probably just practicing as well and offered to teach Mr. Onion Spanish, so he could communicate with the workers in the event this occurred again.

Moreno was reported to have encouraged the superintendent to contact him via "Mexican email" to solidify the deal. Mexican email is a pigeon.

The census bureau estimates that there are over 5 million illegal aliens working in the United States, many of whom are Mexican and over 10 million unregistered, Mexican email pigeons flying between the United States and Mexico.

It is a federal offense to use a Mexican email pigeon without a license.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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