Las Vegas, Nevada - Magic Man David Copperfield has built a career on making things disappear, everything from elephants, airplanes and even the Statue of Liberty. Well, now his liberty may be disappearing on him instead as the FBI and a grand jury closes in on him for an alleged rape charge. However, it has just been confirmed that that is not the real reason for the FBI raid on his Las Vegas warehouse.
Apparently, the FBI has been conducting a secret investigation on the insurance industry and global warming since Bush took office in 2000.
"It is the firm belief by this administration that global warming is a hoax perpetrated by an international conglomerate of insurance corporations bent on increasing their profits by rising insurance rates over the entire the planet under the manufactured pretence that earth is undergoing climate change," said a spokesman for the White House.
An unsealed Las Vegas grand jury indictment alleges David Copperfield was hired by the international insurance conglomerate to assist them in making glaciers, icebergs and numerous animal species seemingly disappear into thin air.
Reportedly, the FBI has already recovered incriminating evidence from the raid on Copperfield's Las Vegas warehouse that place him at the scene of many so-called global warming related incidents.
"It's the smoking gun we were looking for," said the spokesperson for the FBI. "We recovered evidence that places him at the same time and place throughout the continents of the world where various glaciers, icebergs and animal species have simply vanished."
According to the FBI, the ice of Greenland did not start melting until after Copperfield started dating German Supermodel, Claudia Schiffer.
"Shortly thereafter the glaciers and icebergs in the North and South Poles began melting as well," said the FBI spokesperson. "And recently, Polar bears started washing ashore drowned due to a lack of ice, while Claudia Schiffer bears quite the resemblance to Bridget Bardo."
No word yet as to when or if Copperfield will be charged or brought to trial for his alleged involvement with the international conglomerate's elaborate global warming hoax to raise our insurance premiums.
Moreover, whether there will be a trial as Copperfield may be declared an enemy combatant charged with environment terrorism for the aiding and abiding in the disappearance of glaciers, icebergs and numerous animal species from the planet and a secret trial held instead.
Officials are concerned, however, as to where they would imprison Copperfield if he is convicted, seeing that he has already escaped Alcatraz once before.