Governor Aaaald Schwarzenegger announced today that the state of California will open as the world's first theme park of natural disaster. The decision came after Schwarzenegger, and a board of Haas avocado farmers got together to plan strategies to offset costs of the state's loss in avocado revenues due to the large wildfires that have burned out of control this week in San Diego County.
The governor said that the park was originally financed through municipal bonds to censor foolish celebrities under the age of 30 giving California a bad name and private donations.
The rides included:
- Bay Area Earthquake in which persons riding in bumper cars would be thrust in the midst of the Bay Area car culture, thousands of feet into one of mother nature's giant fissures.
Fire Jumper--experience the thrill of being a fireman and jumping out of a plane into the heart of one of the worst fires in Southern California's history.
Wave Rider-experience what it is like to ride the crest of a 1,000 foot tsunami wave as it pummels the Pacific Northwest and wipes out land, homes and people.
Dust Bowl-ride in a tea cup on a saucer plate thousands of feet above the earth's surface in an impervious high pressure system. See what it's like to survive a 7-year drought in the San Joaquin valley.
The Volcano-experience the thrill in an eruption of Mt. Shasta. Be shot up into the air thousands of feet and ride a wave of lava as it pours down the mountainside in the Cascadian mountain range incinerating and smothering everything in it's way.
The Tornado-experience the thrill that Dorothy must have felt in the Wizard of Oz as she rode the Kansas tornado to place full of Munchkins and witches in the fantastical land over the rainbow.
Other areas around the world considering opening natural disaster theme parks include: Japan, Indonesia, the American Midwest, Ireland and the American government.
No one from the CDND (Center for Non-preventable Disasters) was around to comment.