Written by Zack Matheson
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Sunday, 28 October 2007

image for Man Convinced that one day he will find Internet Scam that is not a Scam
Offline internet scam

CONCORD, NH -- There are a growing number of scams run through spam e-mails and fake websites and countless numbers of people every year fall victim to Internet scams.

Jason Spivak is unique because he is the only documented person to have fallen victim to every Internet scam in existence. "It's kinda like people with a gambling problem," explains Spivak. "I want so badly to believe that the information sent to me through my account at AOL is true. I mean, who wouldn't want discounted stocks or to lose fifty pounds while watching television?"

In the past six months, Spivak has fallen victim to scams ranging from typhoon relief funds to winning overseas lotteries.

"They really got me with the offer of millions of dollars waiting for me in a South African bank that would be mine if I just gave the guy my bank account number and passport information," says Spivak with a groan. "I was all set to buy a Ferrari."

Spivak says that he doesn't mind being victimized by Internet scams. "One day one of those scams won't really be a scam and that will be the day when all those years of being gullible will pay off."

Until the day when free riches come his way through the generosity of an anonymous person reaching out to him through the Internet, Jason Spivak continues to work at his neighborhood bowling alley and still uses the cream that has not added the guaranteed four inches to the length of his penis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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