Washington AC/DC - (Preposterous Mess): A former Democrat state governor and highly decorated war hero has threatened to publish details of Hillary Clinton's 1992 attempt on his life.
The unnamed 55 year-old ex-politician said today he has never published the evidence of the assassination attempt which eventually culminated in Clinton's disastrous White House Travel Orifice debacle "but all that could change any day now."
In a secret deposition filed before a senior New York District judge today, the ex-governor said that forensic and witness testimony evidence has been kept in a secret security vault all this time in accordance with a Justice Department agreement drawn up in 1995.
"But the Clintons have ridden rough-shod over that concordat and passed the burden onto the Bush Administration which has quite literally pissed all over it.
"So much for justice, American-style."
The anonymous ex-governor also deposed about being a witness at a 1996 NYC meeting between the Clintons and a high-profile US Democrat couple "who literally threw them out of their home" after finding conclusive evidence that they too were being targeted in an assassination attempt for backing their aggrieved friend.
"It's not there in Bill's autobiography," the nameless source said today, "and it sure as hell ain't in her 2008 election campaign profile.
"But now we've 15 years of evidence stacked up against 'em I sure hope she's gonna get a damned good lawyer!"
Meanwhile in the Whitehall corridors of power in London, the Foreign Orifice has confirmed reports that Bill and Hillary Clinton stalked a non-dom US couple in their UK residence, smeared them with corruption accusations and attempted to frame them for involvement in the planning of the 9/11 atrocity.
According to Our-Man-With-The-Binoculars, the hounding got so bad that NATO military intelligence demanded a full scale probe on the harassment back in 2002.
"Anybody else want to know why Hillary became so goddam bi-partisan about wanting to invade Iraq?"