Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Friday, 26 October 2007

image for New Brazilian Bikini Wax procedure may kill you, but it takes years off your hooch
The New Brazilian Bikini Wax slogan: "Try it, if you dare"

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Already compared to child birthing and passing a kidney stone, many women are all to willing to endure such a painful procedure for the smooth clean look they get with a traditional Brazilian Bikini waxing. However, a new Brazilian Bikini waxing procedure is allegedly so painful and its side effects so dangerous, it has resulted in the death of a number of women.

Those deaths were reported as occurring when women forewent the tradition procedure involving a heated wax strip, opting instead, for new a hair removal procedure involving the use of heated wax treated by the secretions from the back of a poisonous Amazonian tree frog, which, if it does not kill you, will give you a youthful resilient look down under.

"It's taken years off my hooch," said Rachel Mendoza, a satisfied and surviving customer. "My husband says he just doesn't recognize me any more."

Unfortunately, all too often, other women have reported side effects, aside from death, such as numbness or over sensitivity in the treated area, an allergic reaction to the toxins in the poison of the tree frog's backside secretions.

"I have both numbness and over sensitivity," said Margaret Hornburg. "During sexual intercourse with my husband, I don't feel a thing, but than when I'm with my lover, it's so sensitive. I just don't get it."

Despite the dangerous side effects of the new Brazilian Bikini wax procedure, the FDA is expected to approve it as a dieting aide, as a number woman before their death reported significant weight loss.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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