Written by Dr. Tyrell
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Friday, 26 October 2007

image for Last Disco Skate Master Found!

This reporter has had the ultimate trill in being a part of a national search for the last remaining Champion Disco Skater.

Known nationally as "Disco Dan", Dan slipped into obscurity after gaining national attention as the most Disco of all Disco Skaters. During his reign as the Disco King, Dan was known to frequent rink upon rink demonstrating his technique to astonished viewers who made such comments as, "Wow, dig that cat's crazy moves!" and "I wish I had me some skates like those!"

After searching public records for more than a decade, this discovery team stumbled across a police blotter in Las Vegas, Nevada listing one Dan W. as having been arrested for creating a public disturbance by skating up to single females and asking bizarre questions. The report went on to say Mr. W, attempted to use the Temporary Insanity plea to keep from paying the $10 fine, which cast even more suspicion his way.

Following this lead, the team discovered 42 similar arrests with similar pleadings by Mr. W. Once asking the unsuspecting female to "Sniff my Boogie Skates!" This was the final clue which lead directly to the residence of Disco Dan himself!

Knocking upon the door of the last known address for Dan W., this reporter could hardly contain his anticipation at once again seeing a true Disco Skate Master.

Upon answering the door, Dan was attired in a white Polyester jumpsuit & silver sequined shoes with a gold razor blade necklace as his single piece of jewelry. Dressed like a true disco star, the only belying fact was the withered, wrinkled, Picture of Dorean Gray-like appearance of Dan who obviously hadn't aged well.

"What took you guys so long?", asked Dan, "I've been waiting for over thirty years!"

Dan went on to say, "I've been practicing daily and am as good as ever despite being hassled by 'The Man' on a regular basis!"

This reporter must add the meeting was less than optimum and Dan's refusal to stop blathering about Disco & it's importance in cultural progress was of great concern. So much so, in fact, this reporter came to the conclusion either Mr. W was on powerful drugs, or needed to be placed on powerful drugs.

And so there you have it, the last of the Red Hot Disco Skaters found in Las Vegas, Nevada, alone, confused and in need of the services of a qualified psychiatrist.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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