Washington, DC - Rapidly escalating tensions in the form of armed conflict and skirmishes between U.S. allies, the Turks and Kurds, has resulted in the Turkish parliament authorizing deployment of its military forces along the Turkish/Iraqi boarder in preparation for invasion of Northern Iraq, the Kurdish de facto homeland. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, the U.S. military charged with maintaining the peace in a region increasingly bent on open war.
Like the "No-Fly Zone" established to protect the Kurds from attacks from the military forces of Saddam Hussein after the first Gulf war and before the U.S. invasion and subsequent occupation of Iraq, Bush announced today the necessity of declaring and posting "No-Invade Zone" and "No-Homeland Zone" signs throughout the region. It is believed the signs will prevent the invasion of Northern Iraq by Turkish forces seeking to prevent the establishment of a Kurdish State.
"That should make it clear to both our allies that we are committed to stifling both their ambitions equally and impartially," said a White House spokesman.
When asked if the White House actually believed the signs would work a White House spokesman replied, "Sure, why not? They are painted up quite nicely in bold type to let them know we mean business and in bright colors too so that they are visible form a considerable distance."
"No one in the world believes for a second that it will work, but it is expected it will buy us sometime while we figure out what the hell to do," said a political analyst.
The White House maintains that the "No-Invade Zone" signs placed along the Turkish/Iraqi boarder and the "No- Homeland Zone" signs placed within Kurdish Northern Iraq will be sufficient in sending a clear message to both our Turkish and Kurdish allies that we are serious.