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Tuesday, 23 October 2007

image for Ann Coulter Still Sucks
Citizen Reporter of the Week: Billy Benton

Lexington Herald-Leader, Kentucky -- A local man contacted the Herald-Leader yesterday concerning "important breaking news" that he felt was being lost in the world's other news. Amidst news reports of California fires, politics, Britney Spears, and the war in Iraq, Billy Benton expressed concern that perhaps our readership isn't as informed as it ought to be concerning right-wing flame thrower, Ann Coulter.

"I was just wondering if y'all might write something about Ann Coulter," Benton inquired, "Can y'all put something up on the front page sometime?" Asked what he had in mind, Mr. Benton suggested, "Well, I was just thinking about everything and realized that I hadn't heard Ann Coulter's name in the news lately. I just want people to know -- so they don't forget and such -- that Ann Coulter still sucks."

Asked what he meant by "sucks," Mr. Benton explained, "Well you know, she just -- people need to be reminded every once in awhile that the woman aint worth just a whole lot. Basically, she sucks. I'm just afraid that that's going to get lost in all this other stuff going on."

We explained to Mr. Benton that we at the Herald-Leader try to limit our opinion pieces to page 6 instead of the front page. However, it is abundantly clear in this instance that Mr. Benton is on to something -- something significant that goes beyond mere opinion.

As a result, we offer our gratitude to Billy Benton. We also extend our congratulations to Mr. Benton on being our first ever Citizen Reporter of the Week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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