WA, DC White House - In a rare public unveiling in the White House's inner sanctum of security offices, located several storeys below the White House ground floor, a special ceremony was held today to unveil Dick Cheney's portrait. The portrait features Cheney in an interesting helmet, robe and Roman like toga.
"That's all he wears these days," said a White House Staffer on condition of anonymity, "Its horrible to watch, President Bush practically cowers in a corner, whenever he sees him. He insists we all refer to him as 'My Liege'".
The change reportedly occurred after Donald Rumsfeld was pressured into stepping down. "When Don was here we all had to dress in drag, because that's what he did whenever our Alert System went to red. He just seemed to feel more powerful as a woman. Cheney didn't like wearing chiffon, so he was fed up and wanted Rumsfeld out so he could do his own thing."
"Its really kind of ironic if you think about it," said the staffer, "I mean Al Gore liked wearing high heels and lipstick and none of these weirdos get in trouble, then Bill Clinton gets in trouble for being a man. Go figure."
Cheney has stated that the next time a Federal Emergency like the Katrina hurricane is declared, he will ascend to the White House throne to take command.