Washington (IP) - Dick Cheney allowed reporters to visit him inside the underground bunker he has been living in 400 feet below the streets of Washington DC.
He told reporters he wanted to come clean and admitted he is Obama's long lost cousin. He went on to explain that he had his skin bleached in the same way that Michael jackSIN had except his treatments used that new and more powerful concentrated bleach.
Cheney lost his white composure and more and more ebonics began to flow from his lips until finally his speech was 100% ebonic.
A Jive translator made famous from the movie "Airplane" was brought in and she actually ended up saving his life when she revealed that Cheney actually was in serious need of his "Medzin" which when translated into the White language means "medicine". One witness recalled how Cheney kept repeating, "I be axin fo my medzin, you know what I be sayin ?"
Cheney took his medicine and soon felt so well that he turned on some rap music and within minutes a man who earlier had appeared to have reached the end of the line was shuckin and jivin to the rap tunes of 12 Pak 4 sure.