Written by K.C. Bell

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Topics: torture

Sunday, 21 October 2007

image for Water Board For Attorney General Mukasey
"Next question?"

Washington Toast - Unable to answer whether water boarding is torture, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary committee invited the newly nominated Attorney General, Mr. Mukasey, to spend a few hours on a water board to help pluck a simple "yes" or "no" reply.

Without getting wet, or being tied to a board, or submerged head first into a tub of water for a full minute or two, one can instead watch the film Rendition and reach a pretty fast reply: "Hell, yes! You'd have to be brain dead to think otherwise."

Ask Senator John McCain. He won't equivocate. Ask anyone with an average IQ. They won't equivocate.

Meanwhile, while a potential Attorney General scratches his head over whether water boarding is torture or not, Republican members of congress moved like grease lightning to condemn Representative Pete Stark for his remarks following the Presidential veto of the S-CHIP amendment.

The physical reality of water boarding is too vague to define, but words of criticism directed at President Bush are, "...a violation of common decency and must be retracted."

Where was the outrage for the "violation of common decency" for Katrina victims, outing a CIA agent, failure to find WMD, 4,000 Americans and close to a million Iraqis dead?

S-CHIP, vetoed by President Bush, would have provided health care coverage for children. The cost for one year would be equal to the cost of fighting in Iraq for forty days. California Representative Pete Stark suggested Bush continued the war in Iraq for his own amusement.

Asked a year ago, since no WMD were found, would he withdraw troops from Iraq, George Bush replied, "That's for the next administration to decide. It won't happen while I'm president."

That certainly quacks like a duck.

At a recent press conference, Bush was asked the definition of 'torture', replying, "What ever the law says. Next question?"

An easy definition of torture can be found listening to Bush's crucifixion of the English language on David Letterman's, Great Moments In Presidential Speeches.

That is torture.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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