An administrator at Mayberry Middle School was reported today with a strange growth on her face. Assistant Principal (AP) Dolly Testamilion was first reported to have a clef on her lip, but a closer look revealed something quite different.
"It appeared that she was growing another set of lips," said eyewitness, nurse, Powell.
"I think that you're right," another staff member chimed in. "I saw her first talk out of one side of her mouth, then, turn her head to talk out of the other."
This strange, Pinocchio-like phenomenon is very tiresome to watch and reminds one of the vacillating and tedious "Push me, Pull you" in Dr. Dolittle, or Linda Blair in the Exorcist.
"It has only been witnessed in a handful of cases," said one health official "and we're sure that it isn't just a southern thing."
No theories as to the cause of the bi-polar existence have been discussed, but some doctors feel that it may be a rare instance of the literalization of truth. According to experts, in past occurrences, this only happens when the truth is so scrambled that physics no longer has a force to hold it in place and mutations occur.
It was reported that the AP (ape without the "e"), Mrs. Testamilion, had earlier asked another teacher, Mrs. Chamberlain, an exceptional children's teacher, to spend her day making posters and having other teachers sign-up for snacks to bring to the school's fall festival.
"It makes the children look good," was Ms. Testamilion's rationale to Mrs. Chamberlain.
"No, in fact, it makes them fat," said instructor, King David after reading the list and only finding one snack that he could feel good about bringing, popcorn."
This, Mrs. Chamberlain did all day instead of working with children.