Washington, D.C. -- During a speech yesterday the President of the United States, George W. Bush, raised the fear factor up a considerable notch by alluding to a possible third world war if Iran were allowed to gain nuclear weapons.
"All I'm saying is, and just like Iraq, Iran is positioning itself as an immediate threat to every life and limb in the United States of America," Mr. Bush warned during his speech.
Although the prospect of Iran gaining nuclear weapons is a concern world wide, some sources in Washington expressed skepticism concerning Bush's motives for the speech. "Look, let's be honest with ourselves here. Instead of chasing down those responsible for 9/11, Bush instead chose to invade Iraq, a Country that was not a safe-haven for Al Qaeda prior to the invasion, but in which the subsequent U.S. and U.K. led invasion has created a vacuum that has allowed Al Qaeda an opportunity to gain a foothold in the region," observed one highly placed source on the Hill. "If anybody is starting World War Three, it's the current regime of the United States," the source also noted.
"These people are fucking nuts, for crying out loud!" another anonymous source lamented in regards to the Bush administration. "These people will (and have done so repeatedly) say and claim literally anything in furtherance of their reckless and irresponsible foreign policy aims. It's all about scaring the pants off the American people: power derived by fear mongering. And what's worse, Congress is, for all intents and purposes, asleep at the wheel - complicit even!" the exasperated source explained. "I mean really, who is going to stop Bush/Cheney from starting WWIII anyway? This is foreign policy run completely amok."
Another source echoed those sentiments. "It's the United States that is hell-bent on starting WWIII I'm afraid. And what's worse is that even as the supposed representative shining beacon of a stable, Constitutionally bound, Democratic Republic, the U.S. is instead acting in matters of foreign and domestic policy no better than some half-bit banana republic."
Several sources on the Hill expressed a deep-seated fear as well, just not of the variety being peddled by the Bush administration. "Yes, of course I am concerned for what lies ahead for this Country," explained one of those sources. "However, my gravest concern is that the most insidious of enemies of the United States' Constitutional traditions lies not thousands of miles away in some desert somewhere in the Middle East. In fact, my concern pertains with the enemy from within, as 19 thugs have, perhaps predictably, convinced a large portion of the American populace, including America's leaders, that their traditions of privacy, freedom, and liberty are no longer feasible, and that perpetual war is not only normal, but to be expected for the foreseeable future. Now that's really scary."