Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: Ellen DeGeneres

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

image for Ellen DeGeneres has on air nervous "breakdown" dance to "How Much is that Puppy in the Window" song
It looks like "Mutts and Moms animal shelter" is the one in the doghouse, for now

Hollywood, California - It is practically a signature trademark of the Ellen Show that DeGeneres breaks out dancing at the beginning in joyous celebration and jubilation, much to her audience's delight. Only during yesterday's taping, Ellen suddenly stopped dancing and collapsed onto a sofa chair, sobbing uncontrollably. All the while, "How Much is That Puppy in the Window," song eerily continued to play on in the background.

"Looking back now, it was the wrong song to play," said Belly Bean Sanchez, now the former Ellen Show's D.J. "But I was only trying to cheer her up. I didn't know it would drive her to tears."

Currently, DeGeneres is in a bitter custody battle over a puppy she adopted from Mutts and Moms animal shelter in Pasadena, California.

Ellen later had to gave away the puppy because it did not get along with her cats who were conspiring to kill the puppy, Iggy, and run away to Buenos Ares, Brazil with the life insurance proceeds.

"I could hear them [her cats] talking at night," said DeGeneres to her audience, who fell deafly silent in shock. "I just could let them kill poor little Iggy [the puppy]. So, you see, I had no choice but to give him away. It was the only way to save his life."

Ellen gave away Iggy to her hairdresser's 11 and 12-yearold daughters who were beside themselves with joy and head over heels in puppy love with Iggy.

Mutts and Moms, just the latest leftist fanatical fringe pet lovers turn pornographic, is devoted to denying any child under the age of 14 from ever experiencing the happiness of a warm a puppy, took immediate action confiscating the puppy from the young girls in the presence of police.

"Ellen violated the terms of the adoption agreement not to expose the puppy to the household hazard of child under 14," said the attorney for Mutts and Moms. "She knew that puppy love is absolutely forbidden!"

Ellen Show producers have moved on preparing for tomorrow's show, but they are afraid DeGeneres has not.

"We are more concerned how DeGeneres will react to tomorrow's guest the legendary, Iggy Pop," said an assistant Ellen Show producer.

"We haven't told her yet," said an associate producer of the show. "No one has the heart to tell her and we really don't want to cancel Iggy Pop either. It years to book him for the show."

Even though PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has thrown their hat into the ring on the side of DeGeneres, there is little hope to returning Iggy to the girls, as the pup has already been placed with another family.

"My clients has accomplished their mission," said the attorney for Mutts and Moms. "They have ensured that no puppy will never know what it is like having a kid to play with."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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