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Topics: Flying, Airlines

Monday, 15 October 2007

image for Airlines Cut Costs and Ticket Prices

New York, New York (IP) - Avillon Airlines has announced it is slashing ticket prices by 33%. They have been working hard to cut their costs and now the customer will reap the benefits.

One way of saving money they found to be very effective is to have passengers parachute out of their planes instead of landing at airports. The airline has hired a bouncer for each plane whose job it is to push out hesitant flyers. Passengers must provide their own parachutes.

Another way to save money is for the airlines to remove some of the landing gear. This is made possible because the planes are landing empty.

One little known secret that few passengers are aware of is that these planes are flying strictly on automatic pilot and this has saved the airline a lot of money.

The airline has been toying with the concept of removing the plane's toilet facilities and passengers are urged to wear adult diapers. This has brought a look of relief to the faces of many passengers as they peacefully sit in their seats doing their thing.

Cruise ships have taken notice and have begun their own cost cutting programs. Cruise ship customers are urged to hang it over the side when they use the bathroom and this has allowed the ships to remove their bathroom facilities. The result is less weight and more room for more passengers. The ships are also urging customers to swim to shore and in this manner they save on docking fees and tariffs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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