Written by NickFun
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Saturday, 13 October 2007

image for White Supremacist Group to allow members of Mixed Heritage
Rafael Washington will be the first black Aryan

In a sharply divided vote, Aryan Nation, a formerly all-white supremacist group, voted today to allow "light skinned negroes" and those of mixed heritage to join its organization. They will also be allowing Jews who have converted to Christianity.

"We have to learn to grow with the times", said Aryan Nation leader John Bolton in a prepared speech. "It has come to our attention that light-skinned negroes usually have white in them. That makes them at least part Aryan. Therefore, we have changed our all-white policy to include light skinned and interracial black, Hispanic and Asian people. Also, most Jews also have some other nationality in them such as German or English. So long as they become good wine-drinking Christians they will also be allowed".

Not all members of Aryan Nation approved of the new policies. "If we start allowing negroes, spics and gooks then it won't be Aryan anymore then would it?" asked lifelong 73-year-old member Dick Balmy. Just because someone has some white in them doesn't make them a little Aryan!"

Aryan Nation has come under fire from civil rights groups for painting swastikas on the homes of Jewish Rabbis, burning crosses on the homes of African-Americans and promoting violence and hatred. Bolton said that such activities will no longer be tolerated and Aryan Nation will now work toward peace and understanding among people of different ethnic and religious groups.

"I sincerely hope that in the future we will be able to have every ethnic group join Aryan Nation", Bolton continued.. "Our new motto is 'an Aryan should be judged on the content of his character and not on the color of his skin'".

The Reverand Al Sharpton praised the Aryan initiative. "This is good", Sharpton said.

"Bolton should be strung up by the balls for this!" shouted Aryan member Richard Meltzer. "Aryan nation is all about mayonnaise faces and chubby cheeks. The things that made America great!".

The Aryans have already accepted their first black member, 37 year old stockbroker Rafael Washington. "My father was black and my mother was white", Washington revealed. "Of course, I am trying to focus as much as I can on the white half of me, at least for the time being".

"I feel like Jackie Robinson!" Washington exclaimed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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