Deke Skeever, owner of an adult toy/erotic goods store in San Francisco called The Pansy's Saddle has had a series of complaints and possible lawsuits lobbed his way this past week because of a product he sells - an inflatable sex toy designed to resemble Ann Coulter, the blond Fascist Aryan media shrew.
"I still don't see what the problem is. It's just your run-of-the mill sex toy. I've sold thousands of the same model altered to look like Pamela Anderson, Sharon Stone, and Bill Parcells."
The problem, it appears, stems from the fact that most of the people who bought the toy find it to be anatomically (if not politically) incorrect.
"It's got a goddamn vagina!" Barked Lowell Puckfist, an assistant district attorney from nearby Campbell, CA. "Why in hell would I want an Ann Coulter doll with a vagina?! My Scooter Libby doll doesn't have one, my Barry Goldwater doll doesn't have one, even my John Fucking Birch doll doesn't have one …!"
According to the California Better Business Bureau, Puckfist isn't the only one who's feeling mislead.
"To the best of my knowledge, there has never been any documented evidence that Herr, I mean, Miss Coulter actually possesses female genitalia," says Newton Bunnykirk of the CBBB. "These people, the ones who've bought the doll, feel they have a legitimate, well, er, …beef."
When asked if he would give the displeased customers refunds on their purchases, Skeever said that "for obvious reasons, refunds or exchanges on sex dolls are just a pretty bad idea. Think about it for a fuckin' minute."