A man who keeps three black cats, a ladder exclusion zone within his neighbourhood, and a salt dispenser on his left shoulder at all times has had a run of bad luck.
Mr Larry, from Hayridge Heights, in the crucible of the American plains saw a murder of ravens kill his beloved cats, a fire engulf his town, due to the ladder exclusion, and a horde of vengeful slugs chasing him for vengeance over the lost ones his trail of salt had caused them.
Mr Larry said: 'Superstitions are a lot of old tosh. Look at me, am I a great example of luck? No, I did not think so either'
The self pitying fool could never see past his own nose, as the salt often blew forwards into the buffoons eyes.
The neighbourhood witch was nowhere to be found, but a copy of 'Recipes for Cats' had recently been purchased from the local book emporium 'Freak, Geeks, and Beaks'