Washington, D.C. - According to the court transcripts, the Judge did not deny Sen. Craig recantation of his guilty plea based on any precedent or statute of limitation. Rather, it was because shortly before his arrest by the undercover officer, Sen. Craig released such toxic flatulence that the arresting officer had to be treated for "smoke inhalation" at a local hospital. The Minneapolis District Attorney's Office is currently considering filing additional charges.
Senator Craig, as a lawmaker, does not follow the laws he makes, or keep his promise to resign from office once he has broken them. More importantly, he dose not follow the unspoken gentleman's agreement regarding bathroom etiquette, claim Sen. Craig's critics.
"Look. It can get pretty smelly in there. After all, it's a men's restroom we're talking about here, okay," confirms, Juan Rodrigo, GQ Magazine fashion style consultant. "Without giving a courtesy flush to clear the air, you could do some real damage to your eyes, lungs or that of your neighbors."
The D.A in charge of investigating the possibility of charging Sen. Craig with assault and battery because he did not give the arresting officer a courtesy flush.
"An assault charge for nauseous unholy sounds that emanated from the Senator's posterior, while in the bathroom stall in the presence of the undercover officer," said John Smith, the D.A. "And a battery charge for the death plume that the Senator released after his arrest and that continues to linger to this day."
Currently the undercover officer is on sick leave as the experience has left him under the watchful care of a police psychiatrist for any signs of posttraumatic stress disorder.
Undercover officers are accustomed to facing life and death situations on a daily bases but having to subject them to this kind of treatment is considered downright torture.
"It's not part of the job!" said Capt. Rick O'Reilly, New York City Police Department.
"As a Cop," continued O'Reilly. "I'd rather face a fully armed doped up maniac with a grudge or score to settle, whether real or imagined, with the nearest standing authority figure available. Rather than some sulfur spewing Satan spawn, whose cavernous sphincter infested entrails are still haunted by the vaporous foul fumes just vacated by the Angel of Death himself, without a courtesy flush."