Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Mary Cheney's five month old son Samuel David Cheney has been put under round the clock surveillance by Homeland Insecurity officials ahead of an ominous descent into hellish premonitions materialising on this year's Halloween.
The May 23 2007 spawning of Vice President Dick Cheney's latest grandchild was shrouded in much mystery. But AC/DC sample surveys have long speculated that jailed lobbyist Jack Abramoff may have had a hand in the matter. Maybe even brokered the alliance which eventually bore fruit in La Cheney's hothouse.
Also in the paternity frame is the recently deceased Manhattan porn star drag queen Dean Johnson who was rumored to be a protege of ex-Saudi ambassador to the US Prince Bandar, at one stage.
Ditto Pastor Pastor Ted Haggard who was probed about an alleged emission which may or may not have been used recreationally in the brat's conception.
But still sitting top of the contenders' list is Governor Mitt Romney, the 2008 wannabe GOP hopeful who has vowed to fulfil his God-given destiny by any number of strategic alliances, whether brokered in heaven or in hell.
"Only time will tell, of course," a Great Falls, Virginia source said today.