Houston, Texarse - (Reuterus): A woman accused of killing her alcoholic husband by giving him sherry enemas told a Brazoria County District Court today that alcoholic purges were "all the rage" in her part of town "just like the colonic irrigation therapies that Princess Diana publicised."
Tammy Jean Warner said her 58 year-ol husband Michael Warner was addicted to various amontillado and oloroso fortified wine enemas from the famous Jerez wine-growing district in Spain.
Imbibing the tipple in this way was a highly popular recreational habit in Lake Jackson where the couple lived for many years.
"What he really liked was a classy little British number, Harvey's Bristol Cream which were only stocked by upmarket wine shops in Houston," Warner said.
"So as a treat on birthdays, anniversaries, Xmas and certain Holy Days of Obligation I used to treat him to a full case of this rich confection, which has been imported into and bottled in Bristol, England since 1796 Your Honor," Walker told the District Judge today.
"Sure, he'd get wrecked. But what the heck! You only live once."
Warner also admitted that as a very special treat on their wedding anniversary she'd administered several exotic forms of the tipple including a Portuguese Sercial variant of the world-famous Madeira fortified wine "from the sublime 1996 vintage Your Honor!" as well as a 2000 Bual from the Lagos grape-growing region in the country "because of its world-renowned medicinal properties."
"His favorite for special occasions was a Royal Balmoral Malmsey made from the fabled Malvasia grape," Warner added.
"You could say he was a bit of a connoisseur in that respect!"
The Brazoria County District Court dropped all charges before Warner's attorney could enforce his client's legal rights to demonstrate before the judge the practice which eventually killed her husband.