Written by Zack Matheson
Print this
Topics: Sex, Republicans

Monday, 8 October 2007

image for Republicans Have Kinkier Sex Lives

BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Researchers at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction have released the results of a fifteen year sex study that shows that while people who typically vote Democrat appear to have a lot more sexual intercourse than registered Republicans, Republicans tend to engage in far kinkier sex acts.

Professor Louise Schultz states, "It's almost like Republicans can't get it up unless they're role playing. Games like 'Bill and Monica' and 'Tell Me I'm God' are very popular with the ultraconservative right-wing. We've found that the more right-wing and conservative someone is, usually the nastier his or her sex life is. The behavior usually stems from all the pent up anger and aggression associated with feeling like you're morally superior to everyone."

Mel Martinez, Chairman of the National Republican Party, was in his personal dungeon and could not be reached for comment.

Make Zack Matheson's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 2?

7 14 8 24
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more