(Washington) - Presidential front runner, Hillary Clinton, today announced that, if she is elected, she will reveal the cure for the common cold.
In a political speech in New Hampshire, Hillary Clinton stated, "I'll do anything to get elected. I'll bribe babies, I'll promise free health care to all 300 million people in America, including illegal immigrants. I'll make campaign promises, promises I have no intentions of keeping, to anyone who votes! I'm a politician, that's what I do."
Hillary also promises to give us a cure for the common cold. "We politicians have had the cure for the common cold for decades. We just kept it a government secret. Now, if all you Democrats vote for me, and I get anointed, uh, I mean elected, as queen, uh, I mean president, then I'll reveal the cure for the common cold."
Washington politicians, indeed, may have been hiding the cure for the common cold. Think about it, when is the last time you saw a politician on TV coughing and sneezing with a cold? Never!
A spokesperson for the group, Americans Against Brain-Dead Politicians, stated, "Imagine that, the government hiding the cure for the common cold! We always thought politicians never caught a head cold because they were brain dead."
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence