Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Thursday, 4 October 2007

image for Sotherby's to auction off the Magna Carta; Bush puts up the U.S. Constitution and The Bill of Rights on Craig's List
Up for sale? Or just sold out?

Washington, D.C. - The prestigious Sotherby's announced it would be placing a copy of the world famous 1215 document, the Magna Carta (The Great Charter), up for auction this December. The document is considered the beginning of democracy in England and the cornerstone of English liberty securing the fundamental rights of the individual against the unchecked and unbalanced absolute power of the monarchical authority of King John. It is expected to fetch a handsome sum.

Upon hearing the news, Bush immediately ordered the Library of Congress to auction off the originals of U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights on Craig's List to see what he could get for our nation's insurmountable living instruments of democracy.

"What? It's not like we are still using them anyways," said a White House spokesman. "Besides, the proceeds will be donated to a good cause. The funds will go to whomever wins the GOP's 2008 Presidential nomination."

Historians and antiques collectors alike agree the sale of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights is not expected to raise much money, however. They attributed their assessment to the deprecated value American's have of their once well-guarded liberty that they have since let fall into disrepair and neglect over the past years.

"Before the Bush administration and the Patriot Act, those documents were considered priceless," said a spokesperson for the popular PBS's "Antiques Roadshow."

"Now days, with the way we have treated them with total disregard and even contempt in trading away our precious liberty, that we once thought no one could take from us (except ourselves), for security, they are not worth the paper they are printed on," say Constitutionalists.

Reportedly, the seller will entertain all offers, as there is no minimum bid requirements.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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