Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Women, Men, Sexism

Thursday, 4 October 2007

image for Prominent Women's Group: "Guys are Jerks"
He said he was listening. The lying bastard!

The Women's Forum for Peace and Equalness held their annual convention last week and their message was a simple one: guys are jerks, and we're never getting involved with one of them again.

The convention featured impassioned speeches and presentations. Tiffany Westerford-Spurling of the National Female Caucus for Understanding gave a detailed lecture, complete with slides, about how her boyfriend didn't listen to her when she was describing her friend's wedding.

"He was watching football," she said. "He said he was listening, but I knew he wasn't! Then he asked me a few questions about the wedding later, after the game, but it was too late then."

Lois Jonber-Johns, of the Women's National Caucus for Equal Lives, told her story of how her boyfriend "Always wants to eat at 'Friday's' and tells the same jokes to her family every time he sees them. Hello? I'm a person too, mister!"

Also on hand was the leader of the National Women's Organization for Women, who explained that "Men think we're second class citizens, but we're not" in her very popular lecture entitled "Why we're not second class citizens, like men think."

Prominent contributors were quick to point out that "not all men are jerks, saying something like that would be foolish" and noted that George Clooney and John Travolta were "just great, very intelligent and cute," as is Bill Gates, because he is "nice, and rich too." Some of the men they didn't like were Rush Limbaugh, O J Simpson and Doctor Octopus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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