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Topics: Birth, Indiana

Friday, 19 March 2004

image for Old MacDonald had a Cow
The newest member of the MacDonald clan.

Lima, Indiana- In a case of artificial insemination gone terribly awry, a dairy farmer in rural Indiana gave birth today to a Holstein calf. A neighbor described the incident as "horrific and somewhat unsettling."

The new father, James MacDonald, is resting comfortably in the town hospital, recovering from the complicated Cesarean delivery. Because of pre-existing medical conditions, a vaginal birth was ruled out almost from the onset of the pregnancy. "Ain't no way I was going to do no ‘natural childbirth.' I've seen what my cows go through calving and I said ‘give me all the drugs you got'."

MacDonald named the little heifer Jesus 2, insisting the pregnancy and successful birth are miracles that have reaffirmed his faith in God. He plans to raise little Jesus 2 in the faith and start going to church "much, much more."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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