Written by Rick Higginson
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Topics: Marriage, Las Vegas

Friday, 19 March 2004

image for Gay Marriage Effort Gets Boost
Good news for those eagerly awaiting legalized Gay Marriage

LAS VEGAS, Nev. - The effort to legalize Gay marriages received a healthy boost this morning, as three large National Organizations threw their support behind the effort.

The first organization to annouce their support for the movement was the Independent Wedding Chapel Operators Association. Red Quigley, current President of the IWCOA, issued this statement from the office of his Las Vegas Strip Chapel:

"It has been to this Country's shame that an entire segment of the population has been denied the blessed covenant of marriage, and I and my fellow Independent Wedding Chapel Operators are pleased to throw our support to see this injustice ended. Our steering committee is even now publishing a new catalog of themes for Gay and Lesbian marriages, which will be available for a nominal cost from any of our member chapels."

The second organization to announce their support for Gay Marriage today was the National Board of Family Counselors and Mediators. In a statement issued to numerous press agencies, the NBFCM stated their position.

"The dynamics of a developing relationship often result in difficulties which require the services of trained professionals. Sadly, for many Gay and Lesbian couples, these services have not been covered by their insurance because the HMO's have traditionally only covered married couples. By working to help legalize Gay Marriage, it is our hope that these couples will soon be able to avail themselves of our services without having to fear the cost."

The largest contribution to the effort, however, came from the American Bar Association's Family Law members. Following a polling of their members Nationwide, which returned a nearly unanimous opinion that Gay Marriage was a cause they should enthusiastically support, the Association tendered a donation to the effort that more than doubled the amount of money funding the movement.

When contacted by this reporter for comment about the decision, a local Lawyer (who asked to remain anonymous) said simply this, "What naturally follows Gay Marriage? Duh! Gay Divorce! Gays and Lesbians have been getting together and splitting up for years, and it's about time we made some money off the process! With more lawyers passing the Bar Exam every year, the business from 'straight' divorces is getting spread pretty thin. Adding a previously untapped market of potential clients is a dream come true for all of us."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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