Grahamsville, New York - (BareAssCheek Mess & Reuterus): Police yesterday arrested a naked male student at the Tri-Valley High School who ran amok through the school premises wearing nothing but a a paper bag on his head.
The 16 year-old was said to be protesting at the actions of school security guard Mike Bunce who asked female students if they had their periods.
Fourteen year-old Samantha Martin said she had a small purse with her when Bunce first pounced and "threatened to frisk her and then strip-search her" after claiming students couldn't have backpacks or other banned bags "unless they had their periods".
"Bunce then asked me if I was menstruating. Can you imagine? None of his bleedin' business is what I thought! And come to think of it, how would he feel if a woman police officer suddenly singled him out and demanded to know if he had just jerked off into his Y-Fronts for instance? It was humiliating."
The row then snowballed as several other young girls at Tri-Valley who claimed they'd been asked the same question were called to discuss the matter with the school principal.
What happened next is every school governing body's nightmare.
Hundreds of students began protesting in public by wearing tampons or sanitary towels pinned to their clothing - Mostly unused ones of course - Some also carried purses made of tampon boxes.
But not to be outdone, a 16 year old male student, champion of the menstrually-aggrieved, decided to run naked through the school premises with only a paper bag on his head.
His lawyer said today that Bong Hits for Jesus case notwithstanding, his client had been voicing a legitimate protest at the cruel, unusual and sexist behavior of an adult male to a pubescent student.
"We ain't gonna take this lying down!"