Police in Atlanta are calling it a brutal and savage attack the likes of which has not been seen in that city for days. Police have charged Snoop Dogg, real name Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr. with felony first degree assault on the person of Vick. They have also charged a coffee perculator at the local Wal-Mart but that is a different story.
It is claimed that Snoop Dogg travelled from Los Angeles with members of the Dogg Pound to Atlanta via Greyhound bus for the sole purpose of inflicting pain on the person of Michael Vick.
Vick suffered severe cuts and bruises and numerous broken bones but unfortunately he is expected to make a full recovery.
Atlanta State Attorney David E.Longford in a statement apologised to Snoop Dogg for searching his shit without a warrant. He further stated that the police will be returning certain items to Mr Dogg confiscated during the said illegal search. Those items include a large quantity of blow and a mother of pearl handled uzi signed by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I asked Mr Dogg if he was responsible for the attack and if he would honor us with a statement. All he was willing to say was, "Yo!Yo! Fo' Shizzle I kicked da bizzle outta da nizzle".*
* Translation. "Yes Sir. I hurt the African American man".