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Topics: Nazi

Thursday, 27 September 2007

image for U.S. Military to give Swastika-Shaped Barracks an Extreme Makeover
"Ich bin ein Doughnut!"

SAN DIEGO (Der Spiegel) - Reacting to negative criticism from sensitive internet surfers, the U.S. Navy has decided to add $600K to its 2008 budget to disguise a swastika-shaped building at Naval Amphibious Base Coronado.

The building, which was originally built in the sixties, has only recently come under scrutiny with the advent of so much ubiquitous satellite imagery. In order to stop the looming tempest-in-a-teapot from brewing any further (an event that would no doubt draw gossipy media attention), the added funding will be used to blend the structure into its surroundings with aesthetically-sensitive landscaping, rock structures and solar panels.

Architect Johannes 'Mock' (shortened from 'Möckernbrückestrasse'), who designed the building and specializes in Nazi symbolism, refutes the claim that the structure forms a true swastika:

"Believe me. I studied under Albert Speer. I know what I am doing," he dryly commented. "If I wanted to make a swastika-shaped building, then there would be no doubt about it. This is just four L's in a pinwheel shape. Besides," he continued, "the swastika was around for hundreds of years before the Nazi's ruined it."

Navy spokesman Scott Sutherland had this to say: "They pay me to give politically correct answers to questions, so that is what I am standing here talking to you people."

Meanwhile, Pentagon officials refused to comment on whether or not the money might be better-spent on returning war veterans' injuries.

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