A mental patient has praised the TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey for shooting his poodle with her AK-47 assault rifle.
Alvin Chipmonk, 43, from Houston TX, was ecstatic in his delight at Winfrey's intervention: "Oprah, you saved my life. If it wasn't for you I may just have done something real bad. That dog of mine was a ticking time bomb, always telling me to do bad things".
Winfrey fired on the dog while out walking with her friend Gayle at the "Benjamin Bonkers Asylum for the Insane" when she came upon the animal.
"Now everybody knows I love my guns", boomed Winfrey, "and my good friend Gayle said 'Oprah, look at that talking dog over there'. It was lucky I was carrying my gold-plated Kalashnikov at the time".
The dog, Mister Tibbs, is in a comfortable position in hospital but doctors say he may never speak again.