ANNAPOLIS, MD -- In an inspiring yet confusing speech this afternoon, Governor Martin O'Malley outlined his new tax proposal, designed to eradicate the state's huge budget deficit. The governor's plan, described by some as "inane," "illogical," and "just plain stupid," would raise some taxes while lowering others, resulting in, well, something.
The proposal, created by the governor and key Democrats, would increase property taxes by 2.1%, lower income tax by 1.4%, raise the llama-and-kangaroo-breeding tax by 0.4%, and divide the tax on alcoholic beverages by the square root of Superman's shoe size minus the radius of the moon. "My plan will ease the tax burden on Maryland's working-class families," the governor said in a press conference today. "Roughly 90% of households will see their tax bill go down, as long as they don't plan on raising exotic animals, buying property, or eating."
The governor's plan has raised a few eyebrows and sent calculator sales soaring, but like most ideas in Maryland proposed by a Democrat, it is expected to meet with no opposition before being passed into law.