Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: American Idol

Saturday, 22 September 2007

This week: Man discovered who has no Knowledge of 'American Idol'; Blog started about Blog; Firm advertises for "Soulless Idiot"; Washington Think Tank thinks it's irrelevant; Study shows more people are stupid; and New reality Series to premiere.

Man discovered who has no Knowledge of 'American Idol'

A man in Kansas has come forward and admitted that he has no familiarity with "American Idol."

Requesting that his name be withheld, a Kansas farmer explained he had no idea what the show was about, then babbled incoherently about "working fourteen hours a day" and "having to irrigate and harvest before a certain time."

This led some to believe he had been raised in a wild setting, perhaps by other than humans, maybe wolves or trolls that had only a limited knowledge of American Idol.

Blog started about Blog

In an effort to bring his readers all the news about his blog, a man in Florida has started a blog highlighting his blog. Entitled "All About "Another Day'," it will focus on his blog he calls "Another Day" which highlights his life as a computer specialist in a mid sized copier sales firm.

The man also will be setting up a special email list, where subscribers can get blog updates on the blog highlighting the first blog before they appear in the later blog.

Firm advertises for "Soulless Idiot"

A midwestern American firm recently advertised for a "Soulless Idiot" to help round out their sales staff. The job listing also included phrases like "long hours with low pay," "self effacement" and "indefinite postponement of happiness."

A spokesman for the company said they were tired of being accused of not "telling it like it is" so they now will be more upfront with prospects.

The firm was flooded with applicants, most of them boasting of being great "team players."

Washington Think Tank thinks it's irrelevant

Last Friday, a noted Washington think tank, The Center for Knowing, had concluded itself as useless and not at all relevant to modern life.

In a 560 page report, the tank described it's situation as bleak and criticized itself for pompousness and extreme verbosity in a 70 page addendum to the report.

The organization promised to open for business as usual on the following Monday.

Study shows more people are stupid

In a recent poll, slightly less than half the people in the sample group described themselves as "stupid or nearly so." Another third said they were "Addle Pated" and another third said they "Didn't cotton to supposin' real good."

Thus a whopping 113% of people consider themselves "Muddle headed in a fair to middlin way."

The researcher conducting the poll was quoted as saying: "Land o' goshen, who'd a thunk it?"

New reality Series to premiere

A new reality show, "The Ice Cream Shop" is set to premiere this week.

In the first episode, Chad runs out of butterscotch pecan ice cream and has to sell a customer pistachio, Dakota drops a small box of sugar cones, there is an excess of red chocolate sprinkles on a sundae, and Tabitha gives birth to illegitimate quintuplets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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