Written by Anthony J Nowak
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Topics: Britney Spears

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

image for Britney Spears' Career Found Murdered
Britney's career went down the sink

In a shocking development that has rocked the entertainment industry and the world, faltering performer Britney Spears' career was found brutally murdered in a Las Vegas hotel room.

In a scene investigators would only describe as "gruesome", the pop icon career's remains were apparently discovered by her fan when he went by for an autograph. While police are not commenting on any involvement he may or may not have had, one detective very familiar with the initial investigation called it "highly suspicious" she "happened to have a fan" and he just "happened to care" where Britney Spears was or what she was doing at the time. The detective, who spoke on condition of anonymity due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, went on to state that this individual also "happened" to be the only person police could locate anywhere who had any interest whatsoever in the goings on of Ms. Spears' career.

Las Vegas Sheriff Doug Gillespie, speaking at a press conference this afternoon, would only state the investigation was ongoing, but police were interested in who if anyone else may have had any interest or knowledge of the whereabouts of Spears' career at the time of its demise.

"We would be very interested in speaking with anyone who had any working knowledge of the whereabouts or activities of Ms. Spears' career in the days prior to its death," he said. While the police admitted it was unusually early to be asking for the public's help in a murder investigation, they admittedly had "very little to go on". Apparently, the career was in very poor condition even prior to its discovery by the fan, and nobody had seen or heard from it since last being seen at the MTV Video Music Awards in what many called a "state of utter despair."

Asked if it were possible that the career's injuries were self inflicted, Sheriff Gillespie would only state, "Nobody or nothing could have possibly inflicted the intense level of injury we witnessed to itself. From the looks of the crime scene, the perpetrator or perpetrators were intensely enraged at the career." He would not elaborate further.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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