ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA - A spokesman's for Disney Corporation announced today that Mickey Mouse under went surgery to become a "man". Surgeons in Sweden performed the miraculous surgery over a period of more than eight weeks. "Our biggest obstacle were those huge ears", one surgeon commented. "It took more than two days for the ears alone". Mickey made a brief statement to reporters upon his release from the hospital. "I've felt like a man trapped in a mouse's body for most of my life. No one takes you seriously when you look like a six-foot rat". As for future plans, Mickey hopes to "find the right girl and settle down". "I'm looking forward to not being chased by cats". When asked about Minnie Mouse, Mickey replied, "It's been over between us for a long time. We still enjoy sharing a festive cheese platter now and again. Headhunters for Disney are on the lookout for a "Mickey" replacement. "He'll be a hard rodent to replace. We may have to go with larger mammals like Kangaroos".
Disney is currently holding open auditions.