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Monday, 17 September 2007

image for Barry Bonds Ball sells for $752,457
An exact replica of the $750,000 ball can be yours for $8.

Steroid-enhanced home-run King Barry Bonds ball, which broke the home run record, sold for the price of a small town mansion this afternoon at auction.

"It's a very nice ball", said the unidentified, multi-millionaire who bought the ball.

Portfolio Magazine writer Kurt Eichenwald ask the unnamed buyer what he plans to do with the ball.

"I plan on locking it in my closet for the next 50 or 60 years. It's all mine! I will never allow anyone else to look at it! It will follow me to the grave!"

The buyer allegedly has items such as Judy Garland's "Wizard of Oz" shoes, Clark Gable's mustache, several Van Gogh original paintings, the original Maltese Falcon and Monica Lewinski's semen stained dress in his closet as well.

The over ¾ of a million dollar price tag seemed steep to some baseball fans.

"I can get 5 dozen baseballs for about a hundred and fifty bucks", said Bozo Miller, a devout Mets fan. "And if you threw Bond's ball into the pile with them you'd never know which was which. They all look the same. The guy got totally ripped off".

"I could buy a very nice 2 story house with four frickin bedrooms, three full baths complete with showers and a tub, a swimming pool and tennis court in Westboro, Massachusetts for that price", Bozo continued. "And I'd still have enough left over to buy myself a fancy new frickin car".

It's not unusual for $8.00 baseballs to increase significantly in value when a baseball player does something remarkable or even stupid with it.

"Trot Nixon's bobbled ball which cost the Red Sox the World Series in the 90's sold for $200,000", said Baseball collector Lou Diamond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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