Written by R-Mania
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Topics: Dr Phil

Saturday, 15 September 2007

image for Dr. Phil In Need Of More Clichés

Prominent psychologist and television personality Phil McGraw, who demands to be affectionately known as Dr. Phil, is looking to expand his collection of trite one-liners and vague meaningless bullshit used to counsel guests on his show.

Though he has had much success over the years by telling people in his distinctive southern drawl, "Stop thinking the world revolves around you" or "You need to re-engineer your life," fans of of Dr. Phil are now saying that his platitudes are becoming marred by overuse.

The breaking point was when Dr. Phil said "Realize that perfectionism is an imperfection" 14 times in one show, inciting a huge wave of negative feedback from his viewers. With his current catalog of stock phrases, Dr. Phil has also had trouble counseling people who come to him with peculiar problems. One guest on his show revealed he had an irrational and crippling fear of hot air balloons, to which Dr. Phil, ostensibly nervous, replied, "Stop being so controlling and critical… of, um, hot air balloons."

Nevertheless, Dr. Phil still has a very large base of devoted supporters who are able to find meaning in banal or otherwise shitty, useless advice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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