Glenn Dale, Maryland - (Bare Ass Mess): A Glenn Dale Elementary School's fifth graders were amused to find that a long-promised treat of a DVD classroom showing turned out to be the seminal porno-flick Star Whores and not, as their teacher expected, the George Lucas Hollywood blockbuster Star Wars.
Teachers at the Prince George's County school were at a loss for words to explain how the DVD of the acclaimed sci-fi film that they inserted into a laptop suddenly translated itself into the porn movie industry's runaway all-time runaway winner.
School authorities have now blamed a projector glitch which resulted in the fifth graders watching the opening sequences of the porno-flick's Sylvie Crystal, star of Deep Throat, Deeper Throat, Emmanuelle and Deep Throat Revisited plying her trade with a live gorilla.
As luck would have it most of the students laughed uproariously, thinking they were being treated to some brand new comedy release.
"It was a bit kinky, sure," Dave Redneck Jr III said today, "but we thought the gorilla was a fake like in the end sequences of Trading Places!
"So it was just funny, this bare-assed hooker with the bucket of Hagen Daaz sloshing the ice cream all over his dick like she couldn't find his mouth to feed him, hahahaha!"
School officials have written to the parents of pupils explaining the unfortunate turn of events and promising to get to the bottom of it all.