Written by TrafficBulldog
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Sunday, 9 September 2007

image for Carpooling! on CARB list of Global Warming Solutions for California
Carpooling is a hit with the Governator.

PRBS Newswire - Sacramento - In what could have been a very anti-climatic Global Warming report, the California Air Resources Board has posted the Draft Staff Report entitled 'Expanded List of Early Action Measures to Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions in California Recommended for Board Consideration' in support of the objectives of the Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006.

While that title is a mouthful and the report swings for the fences at over 125,000 words; there is but one word that is important.

"Carpooling"

There it is PROMINENTLY on page 177 of 189... paragraph 1... sentence 3. And with good reason. Our leaders are very eco-conscious. At least if by eco you mean economy-at-all-costs.

Apparently, this new chapter in the "California Global Warming Solutions ScreenPlay of 2007" calls for an appearance of "hearing and responding to public comment." At first glance it seems like business as usual. But then there it is on page 177 evidence of a change of course. As Al Gore would say..."renewable political courage". Yes, the word .... "carpooling". "It truly took courage to get that one word in the document", stated former Air Resources Board staff.

That shows right there that this government of actors know how important carpooling is to them in their efforts of dealing with global warming.

In recent years, the neurotic self-help state of California has spent billions to get to know itself and its internal problems. And like any patient in long term therapy, denial is required for repeat business.

Study after study has shown the problems with too many cars on the road. But California Politicians have so far managed to evade the subject.

But AS with any long term patient, they can't wait to get back to their addiction after the "public therapy" sessions.

In this case, our politicians are addicted to tax revenue. It doesn't matter which party (Republicans or Democrats), or how they get the money. It doesn't even matter to them if the bill goes to our unborn children. In California, the common pol-addiction is to the tax revenue of cars and the gas that drives them through the toll roads to the Dept of Motor Vehicles to pay for registration and license. And with 30,000,000 cars in California, that is a heavy addiction they are dealing with. Said Dr Drew, "usually an addicted person can go through about $1,000 a week. But with these politicians we are talking about an addiction in the billions of dollars a year." And with 30,000,000 cars, eventually, you see the problem everywhere you look, on the road, in the parking lots, on the grass, in the front living room... cars are everywhere.

Apparently, when the politicians gave a look in the mirror, they saw the cars in their own closets, and this new report on an Expanded List of Early Actions is really going to show the public that they have changed.

They can now say the word "carpooling" publicly. It is out of the Global Cooling Closet. They should be given special awards.

The Governator's office was contacted for comment. Unfortunately his representative said he was down for repairs. However, he denied all allegations that he was a "girly man" on this issue. Although this reporter is pretty sure he was spotted wearing his wife's fuchsia robe with a "very respectable feather boa" tiptoeing through the capitol tulips... In high-healed shoes... Singing Helen Reddy's, "I am woman hear me roar!." Not gay, just girly.

Other politicians in California were contacted, but nearly all of their agents said they were in rehab.

Those not in rehab were on a self-help group tour of the California desert learning how to "live wise like the Ostrich".

- Traffic Bulldog

The full story can be found here

http://www.arb.ca.gov/newsrel/nr090707.htm

California Climate Change Portal - http://www.arb.ca.gov/cc/cc.htm

Expanded List of Early Actions - September 7, 2007 - http://www.arb.ca.gov/cc/ccea/meetings/091707workshop/ea_ii_report.pdf

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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