Fat comic Rosie o Donnell has been elected spokeswoman for Nuclear Energy by Californian Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"Rosie has all the traits I look for in a woman. She has big boobies and she knows nothing. Ha Ha ha", laughed the Austrian oak, "hopefully she will do some collateral damage".
Media sources were amazed that Mr Schwarzenegger still uses those lame oneliners.
"I'm gonna kick some ass", joked Rosie, "any motherf*cker that messes with f*cking nuclear sh*t has got me to deal with now".
Asked about her qualifications for the post, Miss O' Donnell was unambiguous in her response.
"I know sh*t all. But who cares? It's better giving the job to me rather than waste it on some pencil necked little tight-ass with a squirrel hard-on".
One of O' Donnell's first appointments is to find a location for a new nuclear reactor in the Los Angeles region.
"They can stick that f*cker in Ellen deGeneres garden", said O' Donnell, "imagine the face on her when she wakes up in the mornin' and finds a million tonnes of plutonium floating round her ass".